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Do you know somebody who others describe as a “strong” leader? You know the type:
• A board member who talks louder and louder until he gets his way
• A CEO who verbally abuses staff with destructive criticism
• A Director of Development who often has angry outbursts
• A President who refuses any attempts at basic accountability
• An able-bodied leader who uses a handicapped parking space near the front door as if it had her nameplate on it

These people are not “strong” leaders. They are interpersonally challenged perhaps. Incapable of carrying on a normal conversation. Power-hungry. Let’s be more accurate and call this what it really is: narcissism.

Narcissistic leaders tend to be arrogant and envious, often tearing others down to make themselves feel better. They feel entitled to perks and special treatment because they view themselves as special people. They see themselves as perfect and distort reality around them to reinforce their self-image. They exploit others without regard to their feelings or interests. They have boundary issues and cannot clearly distinguish other co-workers as separate from themselves. Narcissistic leadership is a common form of leadership.

When a nonprofit is without a leader you can count on a narcissist to maneuver politically to find a way to take charge. Research shows that people who score high in narcissism tend to take control of leaderless groups.

Organizational narcissism happens when a narcissist becomes a key leader and gathers a mix of co-dependents around him or her to support the narcissistic behavior. Narcissists claim to be committed to the organizational mission and passionate about the work, but they are really only committed to their own agendas. Narcissistic leaders make decisions based on their own interests instead of the interests of the organization, board, staff, or donors. Psychoanalysts suggest that one easy way to tell a healthy organization from one that is pathological is the organization’s ability to exclude narcissistic leaders from key leadership positions.

If you confront narcissistic leaders directly or defy their will publically it can trigger narcissistic rage. Narcissists experience your lack of cooperation as a direct attack on their own self-esteem. They see themselves as always right and they are bewildered about what is wrong with you. Narcissistic rage can be mild or harsh. It ranges from acting aloof, to expressions of irritation or annoyance, to serious outbursts, and even to violent verbal abuse and physical attacks.

King Saul was an example of a leader exhibiting narcissistic rage. He acted aloof. He was annoyed by David. He hurled his spear at him while he was serving the king in his court. Saul had no interest in changing his narcissistic leadership style either.

Unfortunately, both staff and boards tend to make excuses for narcissistic leaders. Here some of the more common excuses I hear:
• Yeah but…We need them in our current situation (co-dependency)
• Yeah but…We don’t have anybody else to lead us (succession issue)
• Yeah but…He/she is the founder of this ministry (founder’s syndrome)
• Yeah but…Our donors love him/her (of course)
• Yeah but…God is using him/her (you want to blame it on God now?)

Healthy systems can prevent narcissistic leaders from taking over any key leadership positions. The first step to dealing with this problem is to acknowledge it. What else can we do about so-called strong leaders?
1. If you are in a leadership position, don’t become one yourself. Ask for feedback and support from your co-workers and direct reports. They can help you in a powerful way.
2. If you report to one, don’t remain co-dependent. Be careful so you avoid making yourself a target of abuse. Report bad behavior you observe to a board member. The board needs to know.
3. If you serve on a board that has one as the CEO, acknowledge the issue, work on the problem directly, and fix the system that invited or allowed a narcissistic leader to take control.

Do you struggle with setting and achieving goals in life? Is life balance elusive for you?

In his book titled Making it All Work, David Allen sets forth a simple model he calls the Six Horizons of Focus. I have found this useful for my own planning and for teaching others planning skills. All of us have heard people talk about stepping back and “taking the 25,000 view” before. David Allen builds on this common phrase in a helpful way. He goes from the 50,000 foot level all the way down to the runway.

Runway: Next Actions
Next Actions are the tasks and steps you need to take complete open projects and fulfill all of your commitments. They include calendar items, phone calls to return, and daily task lists. Next Actions are the tasks or steps that you can do on a particular day without having to wait on other people. I find that knocking off a long list of Next Actions in a small block of time feels empowering.

10,000 foot level: Current Projects
This is simply a list of all the projects you are responsible for. He defines a project as anything you want to accomplish that requires more than one Next Action. This was a helpful definition for me. I currently have 16 open projects on my list. I keep home and family projects on the same list as work projects. You might choose to keep personal and work projects separate. The 10K level prevents big things from slipping through the cracks.

20,000 foot level: Areas of Focus
This level includes all aspects of your life where you have made commitments to yourself or others. Each of us needs to figure out our own categories at our current stage in life. My categories include self-leadership, home, family, business development, business operations, church, community, finances, and author. You might include a hobby that deserves its own category. Everybody needs to figure out their customized mix of categories that capture their whole life. I find that paying attention to the 20K level is the secret to maintaining balance in life.

30,000 foot level: Goals and Objectives
Everybody who is good at setting goals can simply plug them at the 30K level. For the rest of us, we need to take some time to figure out what big problems we want to solve each year or what goals we want to achieve. This level is reserved for quarterly and annual goals. I find that this level is the key to planning for about 15% of people and a useful exercise for about half the rest of us. Some of us just do better with a shorter, more immediate time frame. We are more problem solvers than goal setters. Yet some planning at this level a couple times a year can be helpful.

40,000 foot level: Vision
If you were wildly successful at accomplishing everything that you would like in the next 3-5 years, what would that look like? I like to suggest that individuals look towards their next life stage to anticipate upcoming transitions, such as no kids to two kids and working to retired. I’m shocked at how many leaders I’ve talked to who have no vision—zero—for what they will be doing after they leave their current ministry leadership position. They need to do some work at the 40K level.

50,000 foot level: Purpose
This is level the level for reflecting on life purpose and core values. We all have some understanding about how God has wired us and why he has put us here on this earth. You explore your multiple callings in life at the 50K level. A personal mission statement would fit here. What has God called you to do?

Bottom Line
Here is why I find this model so helpful. If I ever lack clarity about what I’m doing or why, then I need to set aside some planning time and move up one level. If I’m not sure what Next Actions are most important, I need to look at the project list. If I don’t have a hot clue as to what to write down for goals for the year, then I need to move up to the Vision level. If I don’t have a rough vision for my future, then I need to spend some time at the 50K level.

Weekly Review, Quarterly Planning, and Annual Retreat
I spend about two hours each week conducting a weekly review. Weekly reviews allow you to study the 20K and 10K levels to generate Next Actions. Every few months you may feel a need to take a look ahead further than the next week. This quarterly or semi-annual planning allows you to think about your goals and objectives. This planning time is useful for defining new projects that populate your 10K list. I do longer range planning between Christmas and New Year’s each year. This is a time to set goals for the year that will be more than mere New Year’s resolutions.

What would be your ideal planning cycle? Give this simple framework a test-drive and see if it works for you.

Kryptonite was the green ore from Superman’s home planet of Krypton. It could make him lose his super powers, become weak, and even kill him. Superman could do many things well but he became powerless around Kryptonite.
So what is your Kryptonite? What drains you? What situations and tasks suck the life right out of you?
We all have unique strengths and weaknesses. When we are operating in our strengths we are energized. When we are operating in areas of weakness we tend to feel drained.

During a recent planning time, I made a list of things that drained me. My list included:
• Entering transactions on QuickBooks
• Going on back-to-back trips with no recovery day in between
• Traveling with people who talk incessantly
• Recruiting new board members
• Playing phone tag with voicemail messages
• Driving in unfamiliar cities
• Dealing with issues related to software, hardware, or website
What drains you? Find a piece of paper or open a favorite software program for capturing ideas. Make a mind map with a stick figure of you or the image of a low battery in the middle of the page. Around that image list everything you can think of that drains you. These can be situations, specific tasks, or certain individuals. Take enough time to make a long list. Then you will be able to deal with each of them one at a time. You have at least five options.
Drop it. Is this something you can simply stop doing without any negative repercussions? Maybe someone else will feel strongly enough about it to take it on.
Delegate it. Can you assign this responsibility to somebody else? Most people would probably do it better than you anyway.
Alter it. Can you change the conditions or your thinking about it? With back-to-back trips, I now think of it as one long trip and pack accordingly. I also bought a GPS for driving in unfamiliar cities.
Team it. Who can you get to help you? You can ask a friend to meet with you, ask your team to do it together, or hire a coach.
Reward it. How can you bribe yourself to get it done? Pair the draining activity with another activity immediately afterward that is fun, rewarding, and energizing.
What’s your Kryptonite? Take some time to figure it out and, like Superman, try to stay away from it!

I have a diagnostic question I have been using with new clients lately. I simply ask, “What is your strategy?” I’m surprised by the large percentage of ministry leaders who struggle to answer it.

Some leaders can articulate their strategy well. Some recite their mission statement and confuse that with having a strategy. Others express what I call a “default strategy.” An organization in default mode usually tells you what they do and then has some variation on this answer: we‘re going to do the same things in the same way except try harder this time.

Sometimes an organization should do the same things the same way. At other times they need to make a strategic shift in order to increase effectiveness. The problem for ministry leaders is figuring out when to pivot and when to persevere.

If you sense that your way of doing ministry is becoming increasingly ineffective, trying harder is the wrong solution. Here are seven signs that it is time to make a strategic shift:
 Attendance is in slow decline
 Budget is in slow decline
 Key donors stop supporting you
 Client needs change
 The culture shifts
 New technology disrupts
 Organizational culture has grown stale

If you sense that your strategy is in default mode, then start asking questions. Hold strategic conversations with your staff, clients, donors and peers. Ask them what no longer works as well as it used to. Keep going until you have a fresh portfolio of strategic initiatives that will keep your organization moving forward.

Have an open discussion with your board of directors about the potential benefits of dropping term limits. You are bound to hear responses like these:
• We don’t want to end up with a good old boys club
• We need fresh blood so the board doesn’t go stale
• We want more diversity on our board
• We don’t want the board to become out of touch with our constituency
• Board members need a rest after serving so many years
• We have always heard that good boards need term limits

It’s curious that these same people would never advocate for term limits to the players on their favorite sports team. Can you imagine benching the star quarterback for a year during a promising season because he has already led the team to the playoffs three years in a row? “It’s time to give someone else a chance to be quarterback for a while. We don’t want the team to get stale you know.”

If you swap out one-third of your players every year, then every year is going to be a building year.

It is good for a board to have official terms of service. But term limits tend to cause more problems than they solve. Here are a few:

Term limits cause an organizational learning disability. With new members rotating in continually the board has a weak institutional memory. They will tend to repeat the mistakes of the past. They will require board refresher training every 3-5 years because they keep forgetting how to govern.

Term limits drain board talent. When you bench your best players they will be difficult to replace. Board recruitment and orientation are time-intensive activities. Maybe your best players will be picked up by another team.

Term limits allow key donors to disengage. Retire a key donor? I suspect that term limits are often conveniently overlooked just prior to a major capital campaign.

Term limits weaken governance. When you retire an exceptional board chair and replace him or her with someone who has little experience, the board does not suddenly step up its game and get better at governing.

Term limits produce ineffective boards. Of course, some Executive Directors prefer it this way.
If a board decides to proceed with no term limits, it must have another mechanism for ending poor service. Getting stuck with the wrong board chair long-term can be disastrous for the organization. Board members who attend meetings faithfully but make no meaningful contribution to the board are taking up space and using up resources. Low-performing board members must be removed for optimal board functioning.

The solution involves short official terms, clear written expectations, and a robust board member assessment.

The shorter the terms the better. One board has one-year terms and board members are either asked to serve another or thanked for their service. Another has two-year terms and an assessment every two years. An organization with three-year or four-year terms can still opt for annual assessments.

This requires either a board chair or a governance committee with the courage to sit with each board member and have a heart-to-heart talk about their performance on the board. There is no way around this…and this is the real deal-breaker. Most boards are unable or unwilling to assess their own performance. We tend to be unwilling to speak the truth in love to one another.

The default solution to this problem is term limits. They serve as a passive mechanism to end poor service on a board. But term limits do not:
• Fix a failing board
• Make a board stronger or wiser
• Improve the ability to govern
• Revive a stale board
• Build cohesive teams
• Produce new vision

So would your board prefer an active mechanism of ending poor service using face-to-face performance reviews or a passive mechanism of term limits?


You have probably heard the term “transformational leadership” before. It is usually contrasted to “transactional leadership.” Transactional leaders set the goal, make expectations clear, and reward positive volunteer behaviors. Transformational leaders do much more. They call volunteers to live at a higher moral level and to give time and energy to a cause beyond themselves. Why settle for transactional leadership when you can be a transformational leader? Good so far.

Here is the problem: Almost all the books and articles on leading volunteers promote transactional leader behavior. Even the ubiquitous advice to thank them. Verbally thanking volunteers is a kind of reward and therefore transactional leadership.
 
Here is a list of typical best practices you will find in most books:
 
Typical Advice for Leading Volunteers
• Clarify expectations about the work to be done
• Ask for a specific commitment of time
• Decide if open-ended or commitment with ending date
• Let them know ahead of time of any additional duties
• Tell the prospective volunteers what expenses to expect and how reimbursements will be handled
• Tell them ahead of time of any pre-existing problems
• Let them know what help, if any, they can expect from you
• Check with them to see how they are getting along
• Respect the prospective volunteer’s right to say “No“
• Thank them sincerely and profusely.
 
Now compare those behaviors to best practices for a transformational leader:
 
Becoming More Transformational
• Get to know the volunteers deeply as individuals, why they donate their precious time and what they are passionate about
• Ask them for solutions to real ministry problems
• Be positive and uplifting, eliminate sarcastic comments
• Invite them to be a part of a cause outside of themselves
• Tell stories about changed lives as a result of their work
• Set challenging goals
• Work to create a sense of shared vision
• Mold the group of volunteers into a high-performing team
• Be an example they can respect and learn from
• Make sure you are living according to your values
• Check to make sure you look and act like a leader.
 
Volunteerism would function a lot better if we lead in a transactional way and added transformational leadership to it. Why not be a transformational leader?

I was working with a board of a Christian camping ministry recently. They were doing well financially and in filling their camp, but they were always getting stuck when the conversation turned toward strategy. Some would say that they were being blessed by God and wanted to talk about what else God might have in mind for them. Others were saying they should stick to the mission and not get distracted by other ministry ventures. As we talked about their dilemma, we found that both sides were right. The board needed to govern the organization, but they also needed to steward the wider community (alumni, donors, parents) and leverage kingdom opportunities (helping other camps, launching new initiatives). We drew a diagram with two concentric circles. The innermost circle we labeled “governing the organization.” The next larger circle we labeled “stewarding the community.” Outside of the circles, we labeled the space as “leveraging kingdom opportunities.” This diagram gave the board a map that allowed them to explore new opportunities while keeping the camp and the mission at the core. Give it a try with your board and let me know how it works.

If I had to pick only one book that I’ve read in the past several years that has had the biggest impact on my life then Getting Things Done would be at the top of my list. Most books on time management take a “top-down” approach starting with life purpose, long-range goals, annual goals, and how to block time in your calendar to work on them. GTD uses a “bottom-up” approach and starts with getting on top of the piles on your desk and getting your email inbox to zero everyday. I can get more done each day because I now have a system that captures everything I have to do. This allows me to focus on what I’m doing instead of trying to remember everything that I have to do. I have tweaked the settings on Microsoft Outlook so that it works the way I do. No need to buy any other expensive software or add-ins. I recommend the book for anyone who feels overloaded at work and struggling to find more balance in life.